


When One Door Closes

by Starisia



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Break Up, Drinking, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starisia/pseuds/Starisia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd always thought the heated glances that seemed to burn holes into him were made of pure, undiluted hatred but now he was starting to wonder, were they really of… lust?</p><p>.:CURRENTLY UNDERGOING HEAVY REVISIONS:.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When One Door Closes

**Author's Note:**

> Announcement (7/14/2016)
> 
> Hello, and thank you very much for choosing to read this work.  
> I feel the need to notify you that this work is no longer up to a standard I am comfortable with. Thus this fic is being heavily revised to bring it up to my current standard as an author. The new version should replace this one at some point in the near future.  
> If you would like to be notified when that takes place, an announcement will be made on my Tumblr as soon as it is up. I can be found as Starisia.tumblr.com and anything relating to my works, including announcements for new chapters and completed revisions can be found at Starisia.tumblr.com/tagged/My Writing

Allen sighed heavily as he took a large swig of the drink in his hand. He'd been at the club for hours, wanting nothing more than to forget what he'd heard.

How was he to know that Lavi would fall for someone else - and his own cousin at that? Sure, they hadn't been dating for that long - nor had they gone that far, but it still stung finding out your boyfriend was in love with your cousin!

It was even worse finding out that your cousin loved him back.

He took another drink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He guessed he was happy for Tyki - after all they were family and it wasn't like the man had stolen Lavi from him. He'd even been so considerate as to make sure Allen was okay before he made any kind of move on the red-head, saying it was the only right thing to do. If Allen wasn't okay, he'd stand back and not make a single move toward the red-head.

Allen had just smiled and given Tyki his blessing, saying that as long as they were happy together, he'd be happy. Allen hadn't been lying - at least he thought he hadn't, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

"Allen? What are you doing here?"

Allen looked up, meeting Lenalee's violet gaze and forced his usual smile to his lips, "Hey there, Lena," he said cheerfully, "What's up?"

Lenalee gave him a questioning glance, but she seemed to realize that now wasn't the time and merely took the seat next to him. "Nothin' much. Just came down for a little fun with Kanda and-"

"Allen-chan!"

Allen didn't have time to react before two thin arms wrapped around his neck in a suffocating embrace.

"Rhode… can't… breathe!" he gasped, forcing the words out despite his oxygen-starved lungs.

Rhode giggled, but didn't loosen her hold on her cousin.

"Che, you should let go or you'll lose your toy."

Rhode pouted and looked over her shoulder with narrowed eyes, "What makes you say that, Kandy?"

"The fact that you're strangling him."

The girl seemed to consider the pros and cons of letting him go before reluctantly removing her arms from around Allen's neck.

"Next time," Allen panted, hunched over and gasping for air, silvery eyes locked on Lenalee, "say Rhode first."

Lenalee merely laughed and gave him an apologetic smile. The song that had been blaring the entire time changed, and her smile widened before she got up and grabbed hold of Rhode's arm, "C'mon, I love this song!" she called over the pounding beat, leading a giggling Rhode toward the dance floor.

Allen sighed as they vanished, more than a little relieved the they were all gone - well, Kanda was still there, but he didn't feel he had to pretend everything was fine around the older male, so he knew he could let his mask fall.

He reached for his drink again, having discarded it when his cousin had decided to see how long he could go without air - as far as he knew he could hold his breath for close to five minutes, thanks to Rhode's sneak attacks and choke holds.

"What the fuck's your problem?" Kanda growled, taking the seat Lenalee had vacated, and calling to the bartender for him to 'get him a fucking drink'.

Allen nearly choked on his own as he stared at the Japanese male with wide silver eyes. He'd misheard, right? Kanda hated him, so why the  _hell_  would he ask a question like that?

There was only one explanation that Allen could think of.

"You're drunk already, aren't you?"

Now it was Kanda's turn to nearly choke on the drink he'd only just been handed, "Why the fuck would you ask a thing like that?" he asked angrily.

"You sure as hell don't give a damn about my personal problems, so I figure you must be drunk if you're asking a thing like that. Either that, or your terminally ill and decided to do one good deed before you croak-"

"You are so lucky that I don't have Mugen right now, Moyashi." Kanda growled, eye twitching visibly and his knuckles almost turning white from how tight he was holding onto his drink.

"Oh? And why's that, Yuu?"

"Because if I did, I'd cut you up," he smirked, "or chop off all that freakish white hair of yours."

"Tch, then I'd just have to cut off that precious ponytail of yours for revenge." Allen replied with a sweet smile.

"At least I don't bleach my hair. If you keep that up, you'll probably go bald without my help."

"My hairs naturally white!"

"Whatever you say, Moyashi," Kanda replied in a bored voice before taking a swig of his drink.

"The names 'Allen'!" the whitette cried in indignation.

"You seem to think I care."

"You're a real jerk, ya know that?"

"Says you. You gonna tell me what the fuck happened or not?"

"Depends. Do you really wanna know?"

"Che, it's better than being forced onto the fucking dance floor by Lenalee and your cousin like I would have been if you weren't here, sprout."

"Are you ever gonna call me by my name?"

"Probably not."

"What makes you think something's wrong, anyway?" Allen said, taking another drink from his half emptied glass.

"You're not the type to drink for fun."

Allen sighed and put his drink down before resting his forehead in his palm, tugging at his overlong bangs, "Lavi is in love with Tyki," he said, his voice deceptively calm.

Kanda coughed, practically choking on his drink yet again, "You're kidding me," he said, onyx eyes wide with surprise and disbelief.

"Oh, it gets better," Allen laughed, but there was manic note in his voice and a strange gleam in his eyes as he drained the contents of his glass and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before continuing, "The feelings mutual."

"Fuck, no wonder you're drinking. I hope you told them both to fuck off and go to hell."

"Hardly," Allen laughed again, his voice sounding more than a little strained, "Tyki said he wouldn't make a move of any kind if I told him not to. I told him to go for it."

"Che, I'm guessing you were drunk when this all went down?"

"Nope! Completely sober. Didn't start drinkin' till I got here."

"In that case, you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

Allen smiled sadly, "Yeah, I know."

They lapsed into silence after that, neither seeming to care whether the other said anything or not.

Allen watched his companion out of the corner of his eye. He was surprised that Kanda hadn't gotten up and left already. It wasn't like the older male to stick around a place like this when no one was around to keep him there, and it was no secret that Kanda hated crowded places and loud noises - music included - almost as much as he hated a certain 'beansprout'.

He had to admit, Kanda was attractive with his sharp - almost noble features, a slightly tan complexion, eyes like onyx and sapphire, the color shifting with the light so that it was impossible to tell which, and the tight black sleeveless shirt he wore left little to the imagination as it clung to his toned upper body. He was surprised he hadn't noticed before, but there was something… different about him that he couldn't quite put his finger on, although he thought it might be the elder's expression. Instead of his usual scowl, a slight frown tugged at his lips as though he were simply deep in thought instead of angry at life itself.

 _'Wait, what am I thinking!'_  he thought, shaking his head to clear it,  _'And just how much have I had to drink?'_

Sure, he was upset about Lavi, but there was no way in  _hell_ that he was starting to have those kinds of thoughts about Kanda! They'd known - and hated - each other since middle school for Christ's sake!

"Nani?" Kanda growled in irritation, making Allen jump slightly.

"H-Huh?" Allen stuttered out, a slight blush appearing across his cheeks that he really hoped wasn't visible in the low light.

"What the hell are you staring at?"

"N-nothing!"

"Che, you're a horrible liar."

Allen gave him a sly smile, "Oh really? Cause last I checked horrible liars weren't able to beat you to a pulp in poker."

Allen knew he was pretty much digging his own grave with bringing up  _that_  night but, hey, he needed a distraction and nothing did that better than screwing with Kanda. Besides, if worse came to worse, he'd just blame it on the alcohol.

"Either your drunk or you really wanna die sprout, now which is it?"

"Little bit of both, actually," Allen said with a smile full of false cheerfulness.

Kanda stared at the whitette for a moment before growling and standing up, "C'mon Moyashi, I'm taking you home."

Allen blinked up at the Asian male, his alcohol clouded mind taking a moment to comprehend what he'd said. His silvery gray eyes widened as the words finally sunk in, "W-well I was going to call my uncle and-"

"Doesn't he live, like, three towns over?" Kanda asked, sounding bored yet again.

"W-well yeah, but I didn't wanna go back to the mansion for a few days, so I was gonna see if I could stay with him for a while…"

"In other words, you don't want to face that perverted cousin and no good idiot ex of yours?"

Allen winced at the blunt way he put it but nodded just the same, "They're both there…"

"Wait, how long ago did this happen?"

"A few hours. "

"Che, if it's Tyki then I'm not surprised." He paused for a moment before a sigh escaped his lips, and one hand went to tangle in his bangs, "I guess you can stay at my place for a few days…"

Allen's eyes widened farther and he reached up, placing one hand on Kanda's forehead.

"What the fuck are you doing, Sprout?" Kanda asked, giving the whitette a blank stare.

"Checking your temperature. You've gotta be sick"

"Shut up and c'mon if you're gonna come."

"So you're serious?" Allen asked, a guarded light entering his silver eyes, "You don't mind?"

"Che, I wouldn't offer if I wasn't serious, baka. Are you coming or not?"

Allen jumped up without hesitation, stumbling slightly in his half drunken state, and gave Kanda a brilliant grin, "Thanks Kanda."

"Che," was the only response given as Kanda began heading for the door.

Allen struggled to keep up with the Asian's longer stride, stumbling several times in the process. They finally reached the exit and Kanda led the way toward his black 09 Lexus and unlocked the driver's side before sliding in and unlocking the door for the whitette.

Allen hesitated for a moment, trying to think of a reason why the Asian male was doing this for him all of a sudden, but his alcohol muddled mind couldn't find any logical reason for it.

"Get in if you're coming, short stack!" Kanda snapped through the open window, making Allen jump. A small yelp of surprise escaped his throat as he hurriedly did what the elder said.

Kanda scoffed as a light blush dusted Allen's cheeks as the whitette slid into the sleek sports car, eyes wide as they took in the interior.

Everything was simple, the seats were dark leather and the windows were tinted a dark blue-black, making the inside of the car seem almost separate from the rest of the world, a great deal like Kanda himself, and Allen was suddenly hyper aware of the older male for reasons he couldn't quite explain.

He had no clue what was going on, but one thing was for sure: he was blaming it on the alcohol!

 _'If this is what drinking does to me,_ ' he thought groggily, his thoughts starting to feel fuzzier,  _'I am never drinking again.'_

 

* * *

Kanda watched the sprout out of the corner of his eye, trying to figure out what the  _fuck_  he was doing inviting the Moyashi to stay at his place. Sure, he had plenty of room - the entire second floor of his two story house was unoccupied - but that sure as hell didn't mean he wanted anyone to think they could come and go as they pleased.

He liked his privacy and hated having guests over for just a few minutes, so why in hells name was he not only letting the damn sprout stay at his place for a few days, but he was the one who fucking offered!

He pushed it to the back of his mind, deciding that it was just his stubborn pride and honor that wouldn't let him kick the sprout while he was down. He had to admit, the kid looked pretty pathetic right now and - even if he would sooner run  _himself_  through with Mugen than admit it aloud - he enjoyed his little spats with the sprout, the fights - not always verbal, mind you - which weren't nearly as much fun when the brat wasn't putting his heart into it.

He shook the thoughts off, his constant training and unmatched self-control helping him to push them to the very back of his mind as he entered his neighborhood. It would only take a few minutes for them to reach his house from there.

Kanda couldn't help but let his gaze drift to the kid in the passenger seat every few minutes, taking in the way the streetlights seemed to set his pale hair alight. His eyes were focused straight ahead, but Kanda could easily see the distress in their silver depths.

A growl rumbled deep in his throat as he locked his gaze back on the road and he felt the younger's piercing gaze lock on him, "You don't have to do this, ya know."

"Do what?" Kanda growled in reply.

"Let me stay with you. I can just call my uncle and ask to stay with him. He'd be fine with it."

"Che."

"Is that all you ever say, Ba-Kanda?"

"Just shut up."

To Kanda's immense surprise and relative disappointment, the beansprout did just that, shrugging his shoulders and turning his gaze back out the window.  _'This whole thing must seriously be fucking with his head.'_

The Moyashi had never - not once in the six - almost seven- years that they'd known each other actually shut up when Kanda had told him to unless he happened to have Mugen pressed against his throat.

The rest of the ride passed in silence, Kanda too deep in his own thoughts to even try to stroke up a conversation - not that he would under normal circumstances-and Allen just staring out the window and watching the scenery go by as he recalled the events of earlier that evening.

~Flashback~

_Allen had arrived back at the mansion after classes had ended to find Lavi leaning back against the gates, a faraway look in his normally brilliant emerald green eye. The redhead didn't seem to notice his approach at all._

_He wrapped his arms around the other's neck, yanking him violently from his thoughts before laying a feather light kiss on the redhead's lips._

_"Hey, babe," Lavi said, wrapping one arm around the younger's waist, a grin coming to his lips, though Allen could tell it was somewhat forced._

_"What's wrong?" he pouted._

_Lavi's grin faltered, becoming a rueful smile, "Allen, babe, we need ta talk. Mind if we go inside?"_

_"Sure…" Allen said slowly, moving to unlock the gate. He could tell something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on what it could possibly be._

_Allen let out a silent sigh of relief as he poked his head inside the spacious manor and didn't get placed in a certain thirteen year old's choke hold. Honestly, he loved Rhode like a sister - same with Lenalee - but he had a feeling her constant desire to crush his airway was eventually going to be the death of him._

_"Allen, you're home early," a velveteen voice crooned from the top of the stairs, "And your lover is here as well. What a pleasant surprise."_

_"Oh, hello Tyki," Allen said, giving his cousin a warm smile, barely noting the pale pink that tinted his redheaded lover's cheeks. Lavi always got a little embarrassed around Tyki - hell, most people did - so he didn't think anything of it, "Yeah, finished my exam faster than I expected and Lavi says he needs to talk to me about something."_

_"Actually, babe," Lavi interrupted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I need ta talk to both of ya."_

_Allen and Tyki both stared at the anxious redhead, Allen's brow furrowing in confusion as his lower lip jutted out in an all too adorable pout, while Tyki's expression became dumbstruck. Tyki was the first to get over it, and merely shrugged his shoulders before turning his back to the other two and heading for the white plush sofa, situated in the corner of the spacious entryway._

_He plopped down and beckoned the two younger males to join him. Allen followed and sat beside his cousin without hesitation, but Lavi's nerves only seemed to increase and he seemed hell bent on avoiding Allen's gaze as he took a seat in the chair across from the couch the two cousins now occupied._

_Lavi let a sigh pass his lips and looked from one of the cousins to the other, still not meeting Allen's gaze, "Babe, I really don' wanna hurt ya," he began, shuffling his feet nervously, "But I don't know how to say this without it hurtin'."_

_Allen tilted his head to the side, a slight frown tugging at his lips, his chest constricting in dread, "Lavi, are you… breaking up with me?"_

_Lavi's gaze fell to the floor so that he was staring at his feet, "It's not like that… I love ya, babe, it's just that… I don' think I'm_ in _love with ya, know what I'm sayin'?"_

_"Not really…" Allen said slowly, trying to make sense of what the redhead was saying._

_Lavi sighed in exasperation and finally met the whitette's gaze, "Can you honestly say you feel more for me than Lena? I love ya, Allen, but I think it's more like I'd love a brother or close friend rather than a lover, but that's not all. I think I'm in love with someone… else…"_

_Allen and Tyki both stared at the redhead in shock as the confession left his lips, mouths agape, "Wh-who?" Allen managed to choke out after several minutes of stunned silence had passed._

_Lavi's blush deepened and he took a deep breath before mumbling something unintelligible._

_"What was that, Red?" Tyki asked, finally getting over his own shock._

_Lavi let out a shaky breath before saying it a little louder so that the others could hear, "Tyki. I think I'm in love with Tyki."_

_The silence that followed was defining, no one even daring to blink, much less breathe._

 

* * *

"Oi! Moyashi!" Kanda growled, roughly shaking the younger male's shoulder in an attempt to snap him out of his unexplained daze.

"Wha…?" Allen said dazedly, mind slowly returning to the present.

"Che, stupid bean sprout, quit zoning out. We're here."

"Huh?" he looked up, eyes widening when he saw the large two story house they were parked outside of, "So you live here? Alone?"

"Tch," Kanda scoffed as he turned off the car and took out the keys, "No shit, Sherlock."

Kanda rolled his eyes as Allen pouted at the remark and got out of the car. Allen fumbled with the seatbelt as Kanda made his way up the snow covered walkway.

By the time he joined the older male, Kanda had already unlocked the door and was strolling inside.

Allen hesitated once inside, not quite sure what to do from that point. He had never been to Kanda's house before; didn't have half a mind to even think about it, really. Whether it was himself or the alcohol, he didn't know, but he was suddenly curious to see into the daily life of Kanda Yuu. Kind of like those reality shows, 'a day in the life of' or something like that.

He expected to see barren rooms with only the bare necessary furniture, if any at all, and the temperature to be minus fifty-seven point nine to match Kanda's cold heart. Hey, something had to make it that cold, so it was a good place to start. Maybe he threw it in the freezer overnight. But that would require him to take it out of his pleasantly toned chest. How was he supposed to survive that? Maybe he a robot and ran on batteries? That would explain so much. But wait, cold made batteries run out of life faster.

Instead of finding dungeon-like conditions like he'd expected, he found the house to be not only furnished and warm, but also quite cozy.

"Lock the door behind you, Moyashi." Kanda called from the kitchen area.

"It's 'Allen', BaKanda!" Allen called back, though he did as he was told. He took his shoes off at the door and followed the older man into the kitchen, where he found him boiling water for tea. He took a seat at the island counter, the stool a bit hard from disuse.

He stayed quiet, just looking around at different things as he tried to figure out what to do or say next. He jumped slightly when Kanda placed a cup of hot tea in front of him.

"Come with me, I'll show you what room you can use."

Allen nodded and stood, holding onto the scalding cup as he walked after the older male. He was lead up the stairs to the second floor and stopped at the third closed door on the left. Kanda opened it to reveal a minimally furnished bedroom. It held a bed, a nightstand with a lamp on it, a wardrobe, and a closet.

"Bathroom's across the hall. There're extra toiletries under the sink that you can use. Wait here and I'll hunt something down for you to wear." He walked away, grumbling something or other about useless, annoying bean sprouts.

Allen shuffled his feet in discontent before sighing and leaning back against the wall to wait for the elder male. About five minutes or so later, Kanda returned and threw a t-shirt and cotton pants at him, hitting Allen square in the face. He glared at the older man when he snorted, a look of great amusement on his beautiful face - he seriously starting to question his sanity, at least his current state of mind.

"Nice catch, Moyashi."

"Shut up. Bet you can't do it." Allen muttered, holding up the clothes as he examined them.

"Yeah, that's because I'd catch it with my hands, not my face." Kanda retorted as he walked back down the hall, heading toward the kitchen.

Allen glared at his retreating form before sighing and taking a drink of his tea. He hissed at the hot liquid as it burned its way passed his tongue and down his throat.

With a sigh, Allen walked into the bedroom and set his cup down on the nightstand before slipping out of his clothes and into the ones Kanda had given him. They were too big but still comfy, although the shirt did hang off his shoulder just slightly.

When he was finished, he grabbed his slowly cooling tea and joined Kanda in the living room, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Thanks for letting me stay, Kanda."

"Hn."

They lapsed into silence and Allen took to looking around and taking in every detail he could.

The décor was simple yet elegant, much like Kanda himself. The white carpet was plush and soft under his feet, the dark blue sofa and matching plush chairs a wonderful contrast that gave the whole room an understated elegance and all around comfortable feel - not at all what he would have expected of the older male's home.

"So," he said after several minutes of silence and he'd grown bored of looking around, "How long have you lived here?"

Kanda looked at him out of the corner of his eye before setting his tea down on the glass coffee table, and folding his arms across his chest, "Does it matter?"

"Not really. Just curious is all."

Kanda smirked, "Oddly inquisitive today, aren't we Moyashi?"

"I guess so, although I didn't think a big word like 'inquisitive' was even in your vocabulary, Ba-Kanda," Allen replied with a smirk of his own.

"I'm going to assume that's the alcohol talking."

"Assume what you want, doesn't mean you're right."

"You wanna die, bean sprout?"

"It's 'Allen.'"

"We've established that. We've also established that I don't give a damn."

"Oh, 'established,' another big word. Showing off, are we?"

"Trying to get ourselves killed, are we?"

"Why do you ask, Ba-Kanda~?" Allen asked with the sweetest of smiles, "You really should cut back on the death threats. It's getting harder to take you seriously."

It didn't take a genius to see that Kanda was getting pissed, and a pissed off Kanda usually got a blade pressed to your throat, but whether it was the alcohol or not, Allen really couldn't bring himself to stop. Not that he wanted to in the first place.

"And why's that, short stack?"

"Well for one thing, I'm still alive."

"I can fix that if you like. Consider it an early Christmas present - the last one you'll ever get."

"Aww, look at Kanda getting into the holiday spirit. Although he certainly could use a bit more Christmas cheer."

"Che, you want Christmas cheer? Go ask that Baka Usagi of yours. I'm sure he's full of it."

Silence.

Kanda looked at the sprout out of the corner of his eye to see the Moyashi staring at the floor with that fucking kicked puppy look that could make almost anyone's heart melt.

Wait a minute.

Moyashi… baka Usagi… kicked puppy…

_FUCK!_

"Yeah," Allen sighed, a sad smile coming to his lips, "you're probably right."

Kanda growled, trying to keep his anger in check - and pretty much failing horribly. He hadn't meant to say that - or even bring up that damn rabbit to begin with, not when the Moyashi was already down, but the remark had just slipped out of its own accord.

"Che," he said, annoyance and frustration clear in his tone, "You really shouldn't get so bent out of shape over him. He's not worth it."

"You get bent out of shape because of him all the time," Allen countered, but it was obvious to Kanda that his heart was no longer in it. Fuck, he felt like a jerk.

"That's different. He pisses me off to no end."

"Like you do me?" Allen said, a strained smile coming to his lips.

"You don't have to act, ya know."

Allen tensed eyes trained on the cup in his hands, "It's… easier not to think about it," he said after several minutes of tense silence had passed.

"You'll have to face them eventually. What're you gonna do then?"

"That's why I wanted to stay away from the mansion for a few days. I was hoping to have my thoughts sorted out by then."

"And if you don't?"

Allen was silent and that said everything that needed to be said.

"Che, baka Moyashi. I can't believe you're going to let that retard get you down like this."

"Not like it matters to you, Ba-Kanda."

"Che," was Kanda's only reply and that was all the confirmation Allen seemed to need, but Kanda watched him out of the corner of his eye as he went back to drinking his chilled tea.

The truth was; Kanda did care - way more than he would have if it were the Usagi sitting on his couch. A good example would have been the fact that he'd not only let the Moyashi stay with him, but the fact that he had actually  _invited_  the damn sprout to do so.

"You don't know that." Kanda said after a moment of silence, earning an incredulous look from the whitette.

"Yeah, I do. You've hated me since middle school."

"You do know that you haven't grown since middle school, right?"

"I have too! And quit trying to change the subject. I'm not in the mood to play your game."

"Tch, I can see that much. If you ask me, it's the retard who should be feeling down right now, not you."

Allen blinked and looked up at Kanda only to find the older male staring at the wall straight ahead, so he just took to staring into his empty cup, "What makes you say that?"

"Considering he just dumped you for that cousin of yours? That's reason enough in my book."

"He likes Tyki and Tyki likes him. Why should he be down?"

"And you just got rid of the retard without any effort whatsoever, so why are you?"

"Why  _shouldn't_ I be? I mean, I really liked Lavi and I thought he liked me. I can't believe he actually liked Tyki this whole time. It's like he never really cared for me in that way." He sighed, placing his cup on the coffee table beside Kanda's before leaning on his arms, head bowed as tears threatened to escape, "Just forget about it Kanda. Not like you know what I mean anyway."

"You make it sound like I don't know what you're feeling."

"Oh, so you know how it feels to find out that your boyfriend and cousin are in love with each other, and to be given the choice of either giving them your blessing or standing in their way and making them both miserable?"

"Not quite."

"See? Then you couldn't possibly-"

He cut off as a sword calloused hand touched his jaw, coaxing him to look up, his breath hitching in his throat as he met unreadable cobalt eyes.

"But I have had to watch my so-called _'best friend'_  date my other friend who's too damn stupid to see how I feel about him, and act like I don't give a damn. That close enough for you, Sprout?"

"Wha-what?" Allen asked, a light pink dusting his cheeks as Kanda's grip on his jaw tightened slightly.

"Che, still too stupid to realize what I'm saying. Guess I need to show you."

"K-Kanda, wha-"

He didn't get a chance to finish before the elder's lips were on his. He gasped, eyes widening in shock and Kanda took the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth and slowly began massaging his own, caressing the roof of his mouth.

Allen's mind raced faster than his heart, shouting at him to push the Japanese male away and get out of there as fast as he could, but his body seemed to have something else in mind.

Kanda silently cursed himself when he sensed the Moyashi tense up, but just when he was about to pull back and release the smaller male's lips, two thin arms wrapped around his neck and the younger's tongue began moving with his.

One hand made its way to tangle none too gently in snowy locks, tugging harshly to change the angle, earning a pained whimper that quickly turned into a pleasured moan as the kiss was deepened to an unimaginable degree.

Before either of them fully understood what was happening, Allen was brought down on the couch too harshly with both his hands pinned and Kanda straddling him.

Allen moaned into the kiss once more and Kanda pulled back, reluctantly abandoning the taste he had become addicted to so suddenly, despite the twinge of alcohol lacing the otherwise sweet and downright addictive taste that was strictly Allen's own. Allen whimpered at the loss and tried to pull the older back in for another kiss, but Kanda refused, choosing instead to kiss a line down the boy's jaw and neck before nipping lightly at his exposed shoulder.

"Not… now," he breathed, leaning his forehead against the younger's.

"Wh-why..?" Allen asked dazedly, eyes clouded with confusion and darkened by lust.

Kanda took a deep breath, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat and crush away the lust the smaller male ignited within him like white hot flame, "If this keeps up things are bound to escalate…"

"S-so?"

"I can taste the alcohol. I won't be accused of taking advantage of you in the morning just because you're drunk."

"I'm not-"Allen began to protest, only to be silenced as Kanda's lips met his once more, this time slow and sensual instead of rough and passionate, yet still stole the whitette's breath away just the same.

"I'd rather not take the chance," Kanda said when he released the younger's lips, allowing him to breathe once more.

Allen whimpered at the loss as Kanda moved off of him and started heading for the back of the house where he assumed the older male's room must have been, "Kanda?"

"Hn?" the elder paused in his stride but didn't turn around.

"H-how long have you…"

"Liked you?" Kanda supplied when the younger seemed unable to continue.

"Yeah…"

"Not really sure."

"Oh…"

"Che, get some sleep Moyashi. We'll talk some more in the morning."

With that, Kanda continued down the hall.

Allen listened intently until he heard the door close behind the Japanese male before pushing himself into a sitting position and heading up to the room Kanda had showed him earlier.

Needless to say, Allen couldn't sleep that night. His mind kept replaying the scene in which Kanda's lips met his. He'd always been so sure that Kanda hated him, that the elder would sooner gut him with Mugen than actually  _kiss_  him. He could recall countless instances when he'd threatened to do just that.

Then there were the heated glares sent his way, so much loathing sent at him from those dark cobalt eyes that seemed to ignite a fire deep inside of him, a fire that made him long to shoot back with a glare of his own.

He'd always thought the heated glances that seemed to burn holes into him were made of pure, undiluted hatred but now he was starting to wonder, were they really of… lust?

Had Kanda really been pining over him all this time? And what about his own feelings for the elder male?

He shifted restlessly in bed, pulling the thick cotton comforter higher on his body and snuggling deeper into its warmth. It was surprisingly cold, winter making itself known as Christmas drew closer.

A sigh tore from his lips as he tried to organize his thoughts and figure out how he felt about the raven, and how this could affect their friendship…

Whether it would be for the better or the worse.

 

* * *

"Tch, you look like crap, bean sprout."

Allen jumped at the voice, eyes widening and a dusty rose tinting his cheeks as his gaze landed on the other inhabitant of the kitchen. Kanda stood by the counter, a cup of tea in hand. His damp raven hair fell loose around his shoulders, sticking to his bare chest and back. The jagged lines of a black tattoo reached past his shoulder and wrapped around the side of his arm and a pair of low riding jeans hung low on his hips. He looked like he'd only just gotten out of the shower, of course, it was only about six in the morning, so that was probably the case.

All in all, it left little to the imagination.

"Che, like what you see?" Kanda asked with a smirk, setting his cup down and folding his arms across his well-toned chest.

Allen realized he was staring and looked away, blush darkening a shade or six, "NO! P-put some clothes on, will ya?"

"My kitchen, remember? What're you dong up this early to begin with?"

"Huh? Oh, I couldn't sleep…"

He didn't meet Kanda's gaze as he spoke, and that was all the dark haired needed to see to assume what was on the Moyashi's mind, "What, are you gonna be all jumpy around me now?"

"Why would I be jumpy? Just because you like me-"

"Good god, bean sprout, don't put it like that." Kanda snapped, an almost inperceptable flush dusting his cheeks.

"Like what?" Allen asked, tilting his head curiously.

"Like we're fucking six and it's nothing but a playground crush."

"Then how should I put it?"

Kanda growled and took a drink of his tea, "To hell if I know, but certainly not like that."

Allen sighed and took a seat at the table. He could feel Kanda's gaze burrowing into him, but didn't look up.

"Just forget about what happened, Sprout," Kanda growled after a few minutes of silence passed, and it became clear that Allen wasn't about to break it.

Allen's gaze snapped to the dark haired with a confused look in his eyes, but his gaze didn't linger. His eyes drifted back to the table top when he saw a glimmer of  _something_  in the older male's eyes, something he never thought he'd see in Kanda's merciless sapphire gaze.

"Okay," he said slowly, ignoring the unnamable feeling that gnawed at his heart, almost as much as Lavi's betrayal.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! ^_^  
> ❤ Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated ❤  
> Tumblr: Starisia.tumblr.com


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